Lately I’ve been obsessed with the idea of getting over someone. Maybe its because I’ve very recently gotten out of a serious relationship, but it seems like everyone has an idea of how long it takes to get over somebody.
It seems like everybody hangs on to something of their past relationships, little artifacts that explain a history of a love. I have always been the cut and run type, when I know something isn’t going to work I cut my losses and move on severing all emotional attachments. When Mike and I broke up it was easier to take down the pictures and give back the knickknacks immediately then to hang onto them. Of course there are still reminders of him, the bird I stole from his room that now lives in my car, the matchbook love note he left beside my bed after a fight, and the squirtle named Hans that cost Mike twenty bucks to win in a carnival game for me. Of course if you were to roam around my room you would find no evidence of the one-year and some change that Mike and I spent side by side.
This has its pros and cons... Pro- I could get to sleep at night without having to call Austin just to hear a male voice. Con- It tends to look cold when a few days out you’re smiling and thinking of a future that you had previously built around him.
Missing my college anthropology days dearly, I decided to do some brief research on the relation to physical artifacts left behind and how “over” the relationship you are.
When I first started hanging out with they guy I have now come to care for there was artifacts from his past relationship with his ex girlfriend everywhere. There was a beautiful pillow that held the main spot of his bed that was decorated with sweet loving words chosen by her, her lovely face smiling through framed glass and a drawer full of her clothing still patiently waiting for her return. Even though it had been many months since they had broken up, she had never really left. He still loved her romantically and his room was evidence.
In the months since him and I have gotten to know each other bits and pieces of the room once so filled with her slowly started disappearing until one day I looked around and she was gone. Even the more practical artifacts, the mouse pad and the pillow were MIA. Even though I sometimes miss seeing his ex’s delicate and familiar face it is evidence that after one year he has moved on.
Awhile ago I hung out with Michael and I looked around his room and there I was, scattered in artifacts that represented our relationship. The photo booth picture of us kissing above his computer, my valentine’s card to him proudly displayed on his dresser and lots of other little mementos that were reminders of the romance we once shared. I looked around his room and the only thing I could say was, “Oh, Michael” as I grabbed him for a hug and a pat on the back. Now I’m sure by now my mark on Mikes bedroom is slowly being erased and I’m so excited to see it filled with the next lovely girl he falls in love with.
Now, I’m sure my theory has gigantic holes, but I feel like it’s a good place to start on gauging how ready you are to move on. As for me, I’m starting to feel ready and I cant’ wait to have my room filled with knick knacks and photographs depicting a life filled with the next man I love.
A couple of nights ago Mike & I went to hookah at The Spot with Tim. I thought everything was going well except for the occasional moment of awkward silence that I would try to fill up with any number of topics that were uncomfortable for everyone (i.e if Tim would date the lead singer of Metallica… he said no). On the way home however was a different story. Mike was upset and brought up something that I thought was really interesting “Why do I always have to pretend like I’m perfect.”
He was upset that even though he was in a bad mood all evening he couldn’t tell Tim and couldn’t just be his upset self. I’m sure everyone knows that feeling of trying to be someone your not and just getting weary of putting on a show for others. Anyway I tried my best to comfort him and eventually all was well but I guess it kind of stuck with me. For example there’s a good number of people that have no idea who I really am and what my flaws are and that’s a shame. Sorry this was kind of a tangent… anyway…
Yesterday I had my first day volunteering at the nonprofit in Beverly Hills (I know, ironic) and it was buckets of fun. I spent most of the day doing clerical stuff then being introduced to a whole bunch of folks, which was nice. It looks like they’re opening another branch in West Hills and they want me to work as a job placement counselor there when it opens and if that doesn’t work the guy who runs the job placement website (think monster.com only tiny) offered me a job as his assistant/slave girl in a few weeks, this my friends makes me a very happy girl. Here’s to hoping this being driven and working for free thing ends up paying off.
After volunteering my friend Brandon kidnapped me from my house on a mad errand adventure. I thought it was going to be awkward and horrible but it ended up being quite nice. He’s seeing a girl that he calls squirrel which I think is amazing because I got to say “You have a SQUIRRELFRIEND” about 9 zillion times.
Tonight is my twelve sister’s play, which I imagine will have one of the three outcomes 1. She’ll run around like a crazy person scaring her classmates and audience members 2. She’ll start an impromptu song in the spirit of the rainbow connection and everyone will join hands. 3. She’ll add more and more false hair to her face as the play progresses so at the end of it she looks like a teen wolf.
I thought girls her age were supposed to be all self-conscious and worried about boys. Nicole is a crazy person and worried about alligators, nuf said.
The forecast for this weekend is D&D, work, D&D again, and lots of friends and love. Lord I’m a huge nerd.
I think the last time I even considered writing in this was to try to impress a boy who CLEARLY didn’t like me so I think this time I’ll have a much better shot considering A. I’m super taken B. I’m way to lazy to try to impress anybody… come to think of it that’s probably the reason why I don’t have a grown up job yet and I’m still stuck in old people land aka the e bar aka hell.
From what I remember about ElJay it served as a forum for me to rant about how me and awkwardness were BFFs and I suppose this time will be no different so…
Right now has its ups and downs the big up is of course Mike and my amazing friends the big down is that the copious amounts of free time I have since getting my BA is driving me completely insane. Its only now that I realize that the entire time I was in school I worked a 30 hour week, and took at least 15 credits a semester and now I have absolutely nothing to fill in those gaps and I feel all sorts of useless. I realize that my plans are not my own and I have to wait and be humbled but I am so done with waiting and worrying about what’s going to happen.
So we’ll see if I actually keep this up. I do need a hobby and so far its between this and becoming a super pro and ninja ropes so I’ll give it a go. I’ve never been good at ending these so…. DajdwjktbefkjcasdkasbREBWJMCSk
It’s to feed needy children, and by feed needy children I mean I want five dollars because I’m poor, and not in the attractive starving artist way.
I hate work…
But by how often I go work probably thinks I love it, but our relationship is based on pure lies.
On a lighter note, I’m getting my tonsils out in early August so until then I’ll be screaming everything I say and letting the hobos and dirty children touch them so I can get my moneys worth before they are taken from me.
Summer Session starts next week which will be great fun. I’ll get to fulfill my summer goal of analyzing monkey bones, so that will be good.
Apparently I really enjoy complaining at 1:30 in the morning, who knew?
Question of the day What is your simple pleasure? Mine is pressing elevator buttons.
You are Corinne, the unique one! You think that everything is hilarious and you never pick up your cell phone. TiVo is your boyfriend, and you have fantasies of being on Laguna Beach. Everyone and their mother think youre Jewish and you love it, your dream is to either marry an Italian/Indian/Greek/Jamaican/Nervous Jewish Man. Your two favorite types of transportation are two stepping and riding a crippled donkey. You love the city of Boston but keep forgetting that New Hampshire and Minnesota are states.
Your quote is - Oh hellz no!
So my friends and enemies life lately has been looking up.
I hate that saying “Life is looking up” what, does life usually have scoliosis or something?
From now I’m just going to say “Life has been void of scoliosis lately.”
I saw the vagina monologues tonight which was an experience. And while I was sitting there I thought “Wow, this play is changing my life. After this, things are going to change. I’m going to have to live in a plastic house and never invite anyone in…ever.”
Casey though “Vagina Monologues” was the name of the playwright.
I heart Rachel, but I hate those effing ranch almonds that she’s addicted to.
I got a new job; I switch jobs more than Madonna switches husbands!... My lack of pop culture driven jokes would not make me a good candidate for a gay man.
Apparently the fire was by Parker’s house today, which is frightening, but I wasn’t horribly worried because I knew Chris would be outside fending off the flames with his Viking axe.
Six Flags on Saturday with Rachel will be fun, I’m quite excited, except for the fact that I’m a ninny and probably going to kill Rachel but my excessive jumping on to her out of fright…then Rachel’s life wont be so void of scoliosis, nor will mine when she stabs me.
Question of the day What saying do you hate? For example, I hate “Life is looking up” and “paying through the nose.
I’m sitting here on a Friday night listening to effing “Boom, boom , boom, boom” by the vengaboys because of you, and you know what? I am feeling like a gay man, a very sad gay man who spends his free time listening to “boom, boom, boom, boom”.
It’s ok though because only 2 hours ago I was sitting at Nakita’s house with Rachel, Casey and her playing Clue.
I was professor Plum
And I lost.
On the bright side I have a boyfriend.
His name is TiVo, and we are in LOVE!
So on the down side I have to shave 5 pages off my 7 page report, why, because my life is horrible, and my English class is retarded.
So that’s what I’ll be doing this weekend, sitting at home crying and pressing the delete button on my effing report.
So I want to go to Disneyland next Tuesday, anyone want to just ditch class and come with me, I’ll drive and pay for parking, come on, you only live once, and other motivational crap.
My cell phone doesn’t work, nor does my iPod, I feel like a caveman.
Dear Sabina, Let’s hang out, we can dress alike and be obnoxious, it will be fantastic. Love, Corinne
Question of the day, What did you want to change your name to when you were a kid.
I wanted to change my name to Natalie, or to Corinne, but with a K, so I suppose its “Korinne”
As you all know I toyed with the idea of film school in the junior and senior year, so today, the day of Katie’s birth, I give you a screen play that Daniel and I (and Kire sort of) wrote for my comedy genre. Enjoy.
-Stopped at a green light -Said "Hello bass player" about 19 times -Made friends at work -Told a really lame joke -Bought Milk -Saw Kire, Talia, Josh, Casey, Tyler and the lovely Nakita -Snached a book on Theology -Cried because of a credit card comercial -Finnished my homework
Oh I am so glad that there is so much homework due on Monday.
Well that my friends was a lie.
Today was just sort of blah, work in the wee hours of the morning, then off to my dads house to watch the siblings, which by the way hate me now because I limited their “hitting Nicole with a wet t-shirt” fun hour.
I miss my friends, it seems like I do nothing but work and go to school, I’m not complaining though because after all I love money, and school is…I love money.
My cultural anthropology class is amazing, Kinkella is a god among men.
I’m excited about learning, this is new.
Well, I had a "Darcy" moment today and everything was just going kind of blah until I checked my messages, one from Casey, one from Tyler. It made my day into something memorable. Thank you.
Tomorrow -Work -Homework -Church -Sleep
How sad, how very sad.
Question of the day What was the stupidest thing you did as a child?
Me I was very fond of prank phone calling the police….because I’m a genius.
So the other day at the Ventura county fair, Rachel, Daniel and I went to go see a bluegrass band from Tennessee made entirely out of 50-ish year old men, so they were really go so we got a cd and autographs from the fiddle, spoons, and lead singer/banjo player, and the banjo player wrote “Corinne And Rachel, you guys are too hot, if only I were 30 again.” Nice?
Rachel tried to make Daniel tell her where babies came from while he was driving and he almost swerved off the road and then Daniel said, and I quote, “Would you rather live, or die knowing how to procreate!” Lovely.
In recent news Powers in the technology god making it possible for my laptop to get onto the internet.
I paid for my books today, an activity that made me want to cry like an old woman.
On the bright side I will know a lot about Rastafarians in the near future.
This is the end of summer, shouldn’t I be doing something spectacular?
Question of the day Which is cooler, Chia pets or pet rocks?
...On the down side I just realized that I have black paint all down the side of my leg and I don’t have the faintest idea how it got there.
Enough of that, lets recap on the past, shall we?
Sunday I saw Chad for the first time since the escapade in BoxCanyon in May. Rachel, Chad, Nakita and I went up to Ventura and ate at our usual 1950s diner, and then we went to the beach where we sang the chorus of “Don’t cry for me Argentina” over and over again until we were completely sure that we were obnoxious. I also gave a hobo my lighter I had from fireworks, I don’t think that constitutes as a good deed though, only because most good deeds don’t include giving someone cancer.
Monday I went out and got employed, and then I came home and lulled around and watched Life Aquatic. Later that evening Casey called me and we went to the Santa Monica Pier, well not really, more like we drove down PCH a couple of times trying to find somewhere to eat. We ended up eating at Dukes and we had a waiter who seriously looked like he wanted to molest something, very sketchy. Overall I couldn’t have asked for a better night.
Yesterday I went over to Nakita’s to hang out with Rachel, Daniel and her. It was pretty fun, but that sort of ended when we took an impromptu trip to Fillmore….but then it started up again at dinner. Later on we watched Triplets of Belleville at Daniel’s house.
Today = First day of work, or it should be if whats his face who likes my smile ever calls me.
I got a new journal by the by incase you want to check it out
I cut my hair, dyed it and I now have bangs, I look slightly like Sabina Postal which happened quite on accident. Oh well, at least I’m fashioning myself into looking like someone as stunning as her.
I’ve seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory three freaking times, and I still love it, but I never want to see it again until it comes out on video.
I love They Might be Giants more everyday, they are the only band I can listen to everyday and it will never get old. I adore them, even if Talia thinks its old man music.
Tomorrow is registering for classes heres the line up
Introduction to Astronomy
I was going to take math, but I decided that if I did my brain would implode, but I do want to take another class because I want to have 17 units a semester, so I may take either
a) Contemporary Foreign Film (Humanities)
b) Women in History (History)
c) A Theology class on Eastern Religions (Sociology)
Go on and choose one that you think would be best
America needs you
I’m really excited because I have Friday off, and I only have class for on Wednesday.
Bad news I have English for almost 5 hours on Monday. Kill me now.
My friend/enemy Ryan is leaving for Germany, I feel horrible/ wonderful.
Beck/ Decemberists/TV Sheriff Concert= sold out= sad Corinne
Ben Folds + Ben Lee + Rufus Wainwright + Corinne= Fantas-great
Also theres Decemberists concert at the Wiltern on August 19th that I need to go to if anyone would like to accompany me.
I miss Talia more than I ever comprehended, its not that I saw her very much over the summer before she left, its just that I miss the idea of her being near enough that I could call her and go out for coffee and borrow clothes and just everything…
I love Casey Jean, and I love how close we’re getting this summer, she is the most unique/wonderful girl I have ever met.
I hang out with Nakita and Rachel so much that even when I’m not with them I talk about them which is starting to creep me out because I really don’t think I have a mind of my own anymore, which may not be a bad thing because that would mean I am sharing a mind with two brilliant woman, and I’m not having my own one very lazy brain to myself.
I get my new car tomorrow, a silver 5 door Chevy Aveo, very cheap, very cute; it’s reliable which is all I really care about. Plus it gets 30 miles to the gallon which is a huge improvement on my like 2.
My room is taped off and I start paining tomorrow, were also getting the chandelier tomorrow. Sweet.
My very nice mother bought me a bag off neighborhoodies; heres what the design on the bag should look like
Get beautiful, register for classes, get a job, get a boyfriend (or at least someone who will pretend to be for social occasions), become more independent, go back in time and stop Ethel Merman from ever doing anything involving show business
Sushi and news watching with Ellen and Rachel was wonderful. The problems of the world have a lot less impact when you’re eating white rolls.
Tomorrow = More job hunting an/ or jumping in front of cars to avoid having to go job hunting
I need more money to support my extravagant life style, I could never be rich because I am one of those people who would spend it on frivolous things like a hairstylist for my trained horses or something.
Question of the day Would you rather be named Pollyanna or be dying slowly of some painful disease
Maybe that’s because I am horrible at it and even in the 12 gazillion times that I slipped across the rink I didn’t improve at all.
Rachel, Nakita and I have become tea house connoisseurs, not that we eat tea houses, but you get the general idea.
I think theres something about being a theater kid that makes you have the need to cast everything, such as today when it was Casey, Tyler, Rachel, Nakita and I and a backstreet boy’s song came on and we were completely restless until we had the entire band appropriately cast.
So, I suppose life really is pathetic after high school.
I love summer, and this is one of those amazing summers that you look back on and revel in.
Anyone want to go see an Decemberists/ Beck/ TV Sheriff concert with me on the 23rd? If you don’t Jesus will frown.
Question of the day Ok, while walking around the manatee exhibit Rachel, Nakita, Ryan and I decided that manatees are very dull animals and Rachel presented this game to us so I’m reforming it into a question for you, so basically the question is-
What culture and time period do you think you belong is.
Nothing says the 4th of July like being hit on by middle aged Indian men in Fillmore.
I really don’t enjoy the 4th it makes me feel nervous about everything.
What I do enjoy is spending my time with the lovely Nakita and Rachel, you two make me feel ridiculously happy all the time.
San Diego was fun, but I really enjoy being home. Ryan is now on my death list, but that’s ok. Here are some of the highlights + The Whaley House the most haunted place in America….no, not at all + Sea Fricken World + Lorikeet landing + The crazy digitally inserted Macaw + Swing dancing + Getting over my fear of the ocean + McChicken?! + Resorting to playing MASH while waiting an hour and a half for the laundry to be done. + “DENNYS!!”
Life is beautiful
Now I have to apply for classes and because I am a slacker I am toying with the idea of forcing someone to do it for me.
I miss Katie.
I miss Ellen.
Oh by the by it is Stevie’s birthday today! Yay! Happy birthday doll face. Somehow out of all my friends the only birthday I can remember by heart is Stevies. Happy day of birth.
Oh because I didn’t have time to review on it before heres what happened before I left also in bullet form, because lets face it Jesus smiles on those who write their el jays in bullet format…yeah…. + Steve Timmons came to my party making me feel like a rock star + Kembrew concert was more than amazing + Land of the Dead was retarded…literally
Question of the day What band/singer do you hate to admit you like?
Rehearsal was hell in its harshest form, but afterwards we went to Starbucks and Hadley attempted to ruin my life by saying that I liked Steve Timmons which by the by is not true, I just want him to be my friend desperately. All is forgiven though because she was great phone etiquette.
I am going to miss you all so much, it was hard to sit there yesterday and look around and realize that I wouldn’t be friends with most of these people in 5 years, because either I will be gone or they will. High School and the bubble world of Santa Sue can’t last forever as much as I wish it would.
Sabina Postal, you will be a great me next year, a huge improvement on the original. I love you with all of my heart. You are a rock star.
In college they probably frown upon their students running around campus like lemurs. Sad day.
Question of the day Where do you think you’ll be in 5 years?
You may all attend, its next Saturday the 25th at 3pm at Stargaze Park, which is the park by my house on the intersection of Stargaze and Tierra Rejada Rd.
Grad night was the best thing ever, especially trying to get comfortable in the ice box they call a bus on the way home with Talia.
Corinne hung out with Steve Timmons, life is good.
Parker’s friend Matt is awesome, why did I not become friends with this man before.
Besides the fact that I was completely exhausted and I burned out all my energy before we even left school, I had a wonderful time and it made me realize that I have the most amazing friends on the planet.
I didn’t flirt with boys while I was there because they were all really frightening to me, probably because they all went to real high schools with football teams and cheerleaders and popular kids. Corinne is not a social butterfly.
Claudia and I made the Jungle cruise the scariest thing on the planet because we were screaming the entire time, and that is not an exaggeration.
Robby stole the picture from Mamma that reads “The rat race is over, the rats won.” And that makes him a local god. Bravo Mr. Stambler, Schultz has been finked.
Father’s day was good, filled with family and stories, and lots and lots of my grandfather asking me a) Why I’m not engaged b) Why I’m not engaged to an El Salvadorian man
Sad day, oh well, I have nothing to do after Tuesday. Perhaps I’ll look at photos of me as a child and sulk, no no no, I’ll do something productive, I just don’t know what.
Nakita your family is amazing, even your clinically insane uncle that insisted on saying the word “needles” the entire night.
Question of the day What is the best salad dressing of all time, the people want to know.